Things I wish I did

Red Wine
Crotch Wax
Clean house

You'd think that with so much fucking time on my hands I would have fabulous hair, skin and a clean room.

I am too busy chain smoking and reading gay gore serial killer novels and masturbating.

Actually that doesnt sound so bad...

People are always all about what they cant have. What I cant have right now is sex. Dirty, sweaty, slightly painful and degrading passionate sex. So of course its all I can fucking think about.

These days I sleep with books. Literally. They are piled up in my bed… my trusty paperbacks don’t fucking let me down. They cant talk back, they cant piss me off or disappoint me. This is because everything I own ive read at least 3 times before.

Another con to being unemployed. Read books you know off by heart, watch bad tv or be so bored you want to peel back your eyelids and split your corneas with your fingernails.